Comments on The Book Bully: Rape Isn't Funny: Why You And Everyone Else Should Be a Feminist

I'll respond specifically to the quote of the ...

2012-07-11T16:31:17.261-02:30

I'll respond specifically to the quote of the post (and in a way, to the quote from Louise Brealey.

The quote you have for this post is: "Feminism - the word - can give us a handle, a rallying point, a common ground, and help us build a bridge. Why not claim the gift of the word as a place to begin?"

I don't claim the gift of that word because it's not just a rallying point, or a place to begin anymore. It's not an empty field to meet in and collaborate in, and build something better in. It may have been in the beginning, but at this point people have been building there for decades, and while most of what they built is excellent, some of the fringe stuff makes me uncomfortable.

I hold what I might call "Feminist sympathies" but I don't identify as a feminist. There are other things which I am concerned with, which I am throwing my effort into. And just because I'm not devoting my energy to the Feminist 'project' does not mean I'm slowing it down or trying to get in it's way. Those who are feminists can do their thing, and say their piece, and I'll listen and learn and be glad for having heard it, but I'm not terribly interested in pitching a tent in their camp. And I think that's okay.

So, Louise Brealey, I don't call myself a feminist, and this is my explanation. It's not that I don't believe in equality for women. Quite to the contrary. I'm simply uncomfortable identifying under that term. As a feminist, I imagine you might empathize with such a dislike for being coerced into wearing certain labels.

I completely agree with you. I have always conside...

2012-07-11T15:26:44.383-02:30

I completely agree with you. I have always considered myself a feminist for the same reason. I hate hearing women always preface statements calling for equality by saying "I'm not a feminist or anything but..." It's not a dirty word! It doesn't mean you think women are better or superior. It means you think women and men should have equal rights.

As for the Daniel Tosh incident, I witnessed something similar in St. John's, Newfoundland. I was at Yuk Yuk's with a friend and there was a table of girls near the stage, one of whom was texting or something similar during the act. I understand that this is annoying to the performers, but the way the comedian handled it was out of line. The comedian called out the girl and told her he was going to rape her later. When she got angry and spoke back to him (I couldn't hear what she said), he became more graphic and began to describe exactly how he would rape her, along with physical threats to punch her. All of this while the audience laughed at his "jokes". I left and have never returned. When I tried to speak to a staff member outside, they basically rolled their eyes and walked away. It was disgusting, though judging by the audience reaction, I was one of the only people who thought so.

Beth: I know, there is another side to this argume...

2012-07-10T21:17:58.639-02:30

Beth: I know, there is another side to this argument, that women don't want these jobs. And fair enough, maybe a majority don't. But I think maybe it's the case that women are not afforded the same opportunities as men in the work place, and thus cannot advance in the corporate world.

I don't have the source offhand, but I heard an interview with a woman executive who said that the ratio of women-to-men CEOs in the Netherlands (or maybe it was Norway? Can't remember exactly) is pretty close to 50-50, while in America it's something like 3%. I believe equality means society not dictating what you can or cannot do based on the Big Three (race, gender, sexuality), and I think that's not enough being done to change the structure of the way we've been functioning since the beginning of time.

Right on Jill. Jeff Sexton

2012-07-10T20:33:16.946-02:30

Right on Jill.
Jeff Sexton

I wouldn't tar all of us with the one brush. I...

2012-07-10T18:25:36.129-02:30

I wouldn't tar all of us with the one brush. I like a good joke and I can find some pretty crude stuff funny but that was definitely over the top. I'd be interested to hear the reaction of all the men in the audience that night. The comedian obviously scrambled for a comeback that he was quite far off the mark with, and I can almost guarantee he didn't get laughs out of the majority of the crowd, Man or woman. It doesn't make it right by any means but you're always gonna have idiots around who don't share the opinions of 99% of the population.

I think woman are regarded higher these days than ever before and its awesome. Not high enough but its slowly changing. I could say a thing or two about how men are portrayed in just about every cartoon, sitcom or other tv show these days too. Society's pretty messed up. Super cool blog though, lots of good points :)

In addition to which: as far as Louise calling peo...

2012-07-10T18:14:07.360-02:30

In addition to which: as far as Louise calling people out to redefine gender roles, rules and restrictions. I'm pretty sure the culture is doing that already. Maybe we're not getting there fast enough for her liking, but we're well on the way. :)

While I certainly believe in equality for women an...

2012-07-10T18:12:23.118-02:30

While I certainly believe in equality for women and men (whatever that actually means, as human beings are all so different, it's a bit hard to stick them all on one scale and decide how to make them equal) I don't think that the fact that there are only 12 Women CEO's on the Fortune 500 list is a reason to think that we aren't getting equal opportunities. Perhaps all the women qualified to be those CEO's would rather do other jobs so that they can pick their kids up after school and go to their ballet recitals. I'm saying maybe there aren't equal numbers of men-women CEO's because women don't want to be CEO's, maybe they want to stay with their kids, maybe they just like the job they already have. Maybe they'd rather be a blogger or a car mechanic. Perhaps the companies who're hiring can't find a woman who's as qualified as a male applicant. It isn't their fault for not hiring a women if there isn't a qualified one available.

I guess what I'm trying to say is that equal rights and opportunities for women won't translate to everything on the face of the earth have a 50-50 man-woman ratio. We should be able to pursue any career we want, but that doesn't mean it'll be the same careers that men want.

This article from The Atlantic was really thought provoking for me as to why women don't seek higher powered jobs.